Enjoying My Humble Pie

It has been 15 years now since I first started investigating home education.  Consequentially, it has also been 15 years since I first heard of Charlotte Mason.  I was intrigued by many of her ideas and loved much of what I learned.  I read several books and websites about her and joined several forums (the facebook groups of the day).

But you see, I was both prideful and intimidated by her.  She represented to me an ideal that was a little too far out of reach.  I didn't like being stuck to schedules and I liked flexibility.  Translate that as: I was lazy and lacked self-discipline.  I wanted to do it my way.  I knew better.  I didn't need to spend the time to develop habits for my morning routines let alone school days.  I wanted to live, parent, teach by the seat of my pants.

This philosophy may have been just fine if I had stuck with having one or two children.  But as my family continued to grow and their interests and needs grew, my lack of structure became ever more visible.  My world became chaotic and I became stressed.  

Through these last 15 years, I have been lead and guided.  I have been blessed with finding the resources

I slowly realized that pre-made plans and curriculum are my friend.  That systems for home care are essential (still working on this one).  That routines help make my life easier.  I dejunked my house. ( The Life-changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing.  This is the first book I have ever seen that addresses the emotional aspect of our attachment to things and provides and emotional solution.)  I started meal planning and automated the process.  I started making lists and ACTUALLY check them off.  I think I am starting to grow up (about time!).

My Humble Pie is not so yummy to eat,
but hopefully, in the end, it will be just as sweet.

Finally I come back around to Charlotte Mason: Habit Training.  That little bit that scared me ages ago now looks quite appealing.  Only now the pride is coming back - in a new way.  Now it is more like: I first learned about this ages ago.  I should be way further ahead by now.  What's with all these young mothers knowing more and being better at this than me.  All my children are now school aged and one nearing graduation, is there still time to make a difference?  Is it too late?  (you know, all that negative talk type stuff?)  Do I really want to admit to my mentor and friend of 10 years that I never really got what she tried to teach me all those years ago?  

Yes.  In many ways I need to start at the beginning.  I need it.  My children need it.  Habit and Self-discipline are essential to become self-propelled and if done right (The way Charlotte Mason really intended) we can do just that.